Jessica

Heres to the change!

July 11, 2014July 15, 2014 Jessica

It is the night before surgery. I have stared at him all day. Recorded smiles and coos. Taken a million pictures. Driven 150 miles. Ordered pizza in hotel room. And then stared at him some more. He has been so happy tonight. Smiles galore! I am pretty sure he is blessing me with all this sweet lovin’ knowing mommy needs it!

It is so crazy that 6 months ago I was nervous about meeting my son who I knew would look different and now I am nervous about having his “different” fixed. I feel blessed that so far, his cleft lip hasn’t caused any problems and we haven’t really faced any of the difficulties that we could have. So far we have had a very healthy baby.

I can’t help but stare at him. I love him and his lip. I love the way he looks when he is about to fall asleep and his lips pooch out. It always makes me smile when he lights up and that big grin spreads out over his face. I love watching that lip moves back and forth as he is sucking on his tongue in his sleep. Melt……

Tomorrow will change things. I have cried a few times today. I am sure tomorrow there will be more tears. I know I have said it before, But I really love him just the way he is.

Today I am realizing how many wonderful people we have in our lives. Today I have been overwhelmed with text messages, phone calls, emails, instagram comments, all letting us know that people were praying for us, thinking of us, asking if they can help, offering to bring meals, help with our older kids, encouraging me, and really just blessing my socks off!

So thank you all, for loving and supporting us through this journey. Tomorrow will start a new page…….

Encouragement, Family, My Story

Are you exhausted?

June 21, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

11 weeks and 3 days ago we welcomed our 4th child into this world. There are so many joys in new babies! I love so much about the experience. The visitors, the meals, the squishy baby in my arms all of the time, that new baby smell that is just intoxicating, all of the tiny little clothes. I mean really, whats not to love about a new baby?

Oh, you are thinking lack of sleep maybe? Or maybe the crying and excessive pooping they do? Well, there is that.

I will tell you that having baby number 4 has people asking me “are you just exhausted” almost daily. (I also get, “bless your heart” “wow you have your hands full” “oh man, I do not know how you do that” and a handful of other comments that I will just have to address in another post) When people ask me that I tend to have a generic response that is something like this “not really. I feel pretty good actually”

But yesterday we had some friends over. We were standing in the kitchen and she asked “So are you just exhausted?”. I gave my normal response, except my husband was standing behind me and he started laughing. I turned around and looked at him and he said “did you really just say that?” It really got me thinking about it. It made me think about why I really don’t feel the need to feel exhausted. And also to think about why my husband was seeing things so different.

I have decided its called mom strength. Am I exhausted? Probably. Being a mom is hard work, tiring, 24/7, non stop. There is a never ending list of tasks to be done and they must be done while juggling kids and life. Being a mom is probably one of the hardest jobs on the planet. I think every mom is exhausted. Am I right? It just comes with the job.

So why does my husband laugh when I say I am not exhausted? First of all, my husband sees me daily. He knows what I do, he sees me at the end of a long hard day filled with non napping children, a day that hasn’t gone at all as planned, and an 11 year old who knows better. He knows I get up to feed the baby throughout the night and even when I am asleep I am not resting because my body is on mom alert. He hears me say “I just don’t know if I can do it again tomorrow” in a moment of weakness. He knows I am exhausted.

If I am exhausted, why do I not explain that when people ask? I don’t think I notice how exhausted I am most of the time. I think I just get up and go and do whatever is in front of me. If you asked me if I was exhausted in the middle of a really tough day, I would probably be really honest, but for the most part, every day life and the exhaustion that comes with it just feels pretty normal. When I stop and look at things honestly, I think my strength and perspective comes from God and leaning on Him.

“Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

This verse does not mean that I will never be tired or even exhausted (because I am both). I just know that trusting in the Lord for my strength has been so fruitful for me. I have been able to muster through some rough days by simply relying on the Lord for strength. God always provides what we need in the moment when we rely on Him. I have learned that He might not always answer my prayers the way I envision them being answered, but he always answers. God called mothers into the mission field of being a mom and He is faithful to walk with us until our mission is complete! God is bigger then anything we face daily. He is bigger then physical and mental exhaustion. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28

Moms- It is ok to be exhausted. It is ok to realize how hard your job is and how much weight you carry by doing it. But be encouraged that God called you into Motherhood and He is there with you every step of the way. Ask Him for whatever you need. Remember that you are not alone either, look around you, moms everywhere are exhausted too, just like you. Hug another mommy and remind her how precious she is to her children and to God. Take time to laugh with a fellow mom and see how much exhaustion fades away when you choose to smile and find joy. Encourage someone else today because you can. Love with all your heart and soul. Remember you have the power to change the world, one little tiny person at at time. Being a mom is a BIG job, an important job, an exhausting job. But God chose YOU to do it because He knows you can!

{If you like this post please feel free to share it!}

Cleft Lip, Encouragement, Family

Lessons from Harvey

June 19, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

When I was 22 weeks pregnant and told that our baby would have a cleft lip, I was devastated. Emotions and thoughts flooded my mind in the days that would follow. I vowed not to google anything that day and stood by that for a few weeks. To be honest, at first all I could think about is how different he would look. My other 3 babies all looked so very similar at birth and we would get told over and over “oh that is a Meinardus baby”. I feared that he would be different. Would I fall instantly in love with him? Would people stare at us at Walmart? Would I need to constantly defend my child? Will his siblings care that he looks different? Those were really my first thoughts. Vein, insecure, selfish thoughts.

A few weeks after our initial diagnosis, we met with my OB and he suggested we research a surgical team. So that is when I started googling. I soon found ACH had a cleft team and made a few phone calls. After a phone consult, my emotions suddenly shifted. I was overwhelmed by the information given. Suddenly, my thoughts were flooded with concerns. Now I am reading blogs and forums of parents whose children are on their 7th, 8th, 9th surgeries and still have more to go. These children have to undergo so much pain. My heart started to break. I couldn’t even imagine my child having to have one surgery, let alone 10. I had already been praying but now I was praying even harder. I knew I needed to rely on my faith now more then ever.

Slowly, my fears eased and I started to feel at peace with everything. We went to Children’s for a prenatal consult where we were given even more information. We left overwhelmed again but were glad we had all the information. We knew he would be having surgery at around 3 months of age and that was about the only thing we knew for sure until he was born.

That day at Children’s they told us that after surgery, parents often will morn their child’s appearance. That they miss the way their babies looked. I remember thinking then, “I can’t imagine that. I am sure we will want to have that fixed for him so he will look normal.”

But……. Harvey Powell has changed everything. This boy has shown me so much. He has shown me what perfection is all about or maybe what it is not about. Harvey has shown me that what some people see as a flaw, is actually the most beautiful thing imaginable. He has taught me that joy can be found in the most unsuspecting places. He has, more times then I can count, brought me to tears with his beauty. Harvey is truly a gift.

Now, looking at him, I can’t imagine him any other way. I can’t even picture him “normal” and I really don’t want to either. His smile is enough to melt the polar ice caps! When he is sleeping and that sweet lip is split, it is all I can do not to just kiss him all over! When his tongue comes through that sweet cleft it puts the biggest smile on my face! I am telling you the joy that flows from him is incredible!

When I think about how I see Harvey, I can’t help but think about how God sees us. I know I see myself as a flawed, imperfect human. Some days, I pick myself apart so badly it doesn’t even feel like there is anything left to pick at. I see physical flaws every time I look in the mirror. I often wonder what others are seeing when they see me and I assume they are seeing the flaws. But when God sees us, I don’t think he sees our flaws, I think he sees our beauty. Isn’t that amazing? Harvey is teaching me to see the world differently. With eyes that look past flaws and see beauty. When I see Harvey, all I see is beauty.

Tonight as I write this blog, I have been looking through some pictures that I have taken to preserve these precious memories. In a few weeks, Harvey will have a new look. Not a better look, but a new one. I have so many mixed emotions but tonight I am just plain thankful. Thankful for him and for the perspective he has given me. Thankful for cameras (and good friends who let you borrow macro lens) that allow me to capture his natural beauty. Thankful for a God who never leaves us. Thankful for loving and supportive friends and family. Just thankful. I hope you enjoy these beautiful photos as much as I do!

Family, My Story

Fathers Day

June 15, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

It is late, 11:53pm. In a few minutes it will be Father’s day 2014. I have had a rough night with the kids, leaving me up late thumbing through social media. It is currently flooded with well wishes to fathers. I see women who are adoring and reminiscing their own dads. I see wives who are celebrating their husbands. It has left me with a lot of thoughts. I am not going to share them all, simply because they are complicated and too deep for this venue.

But I have decided a few of them are worth sharing……

My dear husband of almost 11 years is quite simply amazing. I don’t publicly brag on him as often as I should, but today is a perfect time to give him some much needed applause. I was just going to post a cute collage on instagram of him with each baby (see below). Then when I went to make the collage I realized something- what this man has done is big.

At the age of 17, we found out I was pregnant. I will never forget those few days of pure panic. I remember Joel being so calm as I cried and cried and cried. I remember the next day we were in his truck and I said “Joel, what in the world are we going to do?” and he just looked at me with the most sincere eyes and said “we will do whatever it takes” He has stood by those words to this day.

As I think about all of that now, I think about how easy it would have been for him to say- I don’t know what you are doing, but I am having no part of this! But he didn’t. Instead, he went to doctor appointments, watched me gain weight, get moody, get sick, held my hand through labor, and then he loved our son with everything he had. I watched him work his booty off, and finish his senior year of high school, all while I was pregnant and having a baby. He stood by me and has never even once complained about our situation.

Now, 12 years+ I can say that the boy who was strong for me, even though he was scared to death, has become the most amazing, Godly husband and father. He has been our provider, my rock, the love of my life. He has given me 4 amazing, beautiful children. He has become the leader of our household and made all of my dreams a reality. He has worked so hard over the years and continues to do so. He is showing our kids what it means to be a good husband and father. He is caring, loving, and passionate about what he does. He is truly amazing and I thank God daily for him. I don’t think I can ever put into words how grateful I am for this man. He is one of a kind and I am proud to be his wife!

Happy Fathers Day to the most amazing dad I know, my husband, Joel!

Encouragement, My Story

Acceptance

June 5, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

Do you ever wake up and try to beat your toddler to the coffee pot? You know what I mean? You need to get a cup a coffee in before you hear a whiney “mommy I need a drink” or before there is any chance of a melt down. I know that is a reality in this house. We have 4 kids ranging from 2 months old to 11 and all 4 of them are at home with me all day. There is a toddler in that mix and anyone who has ever had a toddler knows that they can be tricky at times.

Right now at this point in my life I have found that there are days that are just hard. There are long nights that leave me exhausted. There are days with more meltdowns than smiles. Some days I feel like I get nothing done (which is hard for me because I am a doer). At times I wonder if I will ever have any time for anything! Days come where the 2 year old is refusing to nap and wants me to lay with her. I planned to do things while she napped. The baby is asleep and I need her to sleep too! This is a place to easily get frustrated.

I know there have been so many times where I have told my husband “I am just so tired. I don’t know if I can do this again tomorrow!” He has jokingly said, “don’t worry, it will get better in a few years” Oh my word, so much for encouragement! We had our first two kids 2 years apart just like the last two. We survived that and I know we will survive this too. The fact is, I know that this time passes by so fast! I know that I am going to miss these days. I missed them as soon as they were over with our first two.

Acceptance. That is where I have gotten to. I have accepted that I may not get anything on my to-do list done. I am ok with that. I have decided to embrace each moment of the day. When Garner has a meltdown, I remind myself that she is strong willed, full of life and that she makes me laugh more then she makes me cry. I remind myself of the pure joy that flows from her tiny two year old body. When the baby is fussy and isn’t wanting to sleep, I choose to see the blessing it is to have him in my arms. It is so easy to be consumed by the craziness of life and to miss the blessings.

I don’t want to allow anything to stop me from seeing all the good things in my life. There is always good no matter what is going on. We get to choose joy. I have so much to be thankful for in my life. My life is not perfect. There are lots of moments that are stressful and seem impossible. Things don’t always go the way I plan. There are disappointments. But there is no life I would rather have. Choosing to let the joy overshadow the chaos has been one of the most amazing feelings! I lean on prayer a lot. I give the things I can’t control to God and ask Him for strength and wisdom daily, especially in parenting these 4 amazing kids.

One thing that I have used my one on one time with the kids for is praying for them individually. I have found myself laying in bed with Garner or rocking Harvey a lot lately. I know when it is 10:30pm and I have been trying to get them to sleep for 2 hours and have been hearing cries for 2 hours, my emotions are high and I know I am vulnerable to have a meltdown myself. So, I have just started praying through all of it. I start praying for their future, their friends, for who they will become, for wisdom in parenting them and guiding them to be the person God created them to be, and even for their future spouse. Praying sends all my anxiety away, eases my spirit and gives me peace all while reminding me of the blessing it is be a mommy.

So, kiss your life! Love where you are today. Rocking babies, kissing boo-boos, waking up for 2am feedings, or maybe you are struggling with a teenager. Wherever your life is now, focus on loving it, or else you might miss the happiness that is right in front of you.

Encouragement, Family, My Story

Whatever God is calling you to…

May 16, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

Have you ever asked God what He has for you? Ever been willing to just do whatever He asks? I have been praying for sometime that God just reveal to me what he wants me to do next. I am in a new season full of new things and I find myself more then ever seeking His will over mine. A few weeks ago I was praying in the car on a drive to NWA and I felt like God was telling me to encourage moms. I felt like he was saying moms need to be encouraged in their roles as moms and you can do it. I was talking out loud to God and pretty much just said “ok God I can do that! I can encourage moms when I am having conversations and hear they need it.” But it felt like He said “no, there is more”

I will tell you that I have never felt like God was asking me to do something like this. I know it might not seem like something HUGE but I felt he was really asking me to do it. So I started praying daily for the details, the plan. I need a plan- I am a planner! I asked my husband to pray for me too. I didn’t really tell anyone about this because I had no idea what I was suppose to be doing! Everyday I would pray, and everyday God would send me some sort of message. For about a week the message was “whatever God is calling you to, just do it” I felt stronger about this calling everyday. But still had no idea how I was suppose to do it. I thought maybe I was suppose to start some sort of group. But it just didn’t seem possible. Moms are busy already, I am busy, when would have time to meet? So I just kept praying.

I decided that maybe blogging was the way I was suppose to reach people. But I still just wasn’t sure. Then I got this message from a girl who I didn’t really know. Our kids were in the same preschool class 5 years ago but I didn’t really know her. I mean I would wave and say hi if I saw her at Walmart but I didn’t know anything about her and she didn’t know anything about me either. We hadn’t even been Facebook friends until a few days prior to her message. Her message sent chills up my spine. It basically said that as crazy as it sounded, she felt like God told her I was suppose to speak at their Mother/Daughter banquet at her church. She said she wasn’t even sure if I was a speaker (I am not!) She gave me her number and asked me to call her if I was interested. When I called my first question was “did someone tell you to ask me?” I could tell she was feeling a little bit embarrassed and said “I know it sounds crazy but as I prayed about who was suppose to speak your name just kept coming to my mind and I felt like God was saying it was you”

So I feel like God asks me to encourage moms, then I get asked to speak at a banquet for moms? WOW- how could I even possibly deny that God was really asking me to do all that? I am still humbled and overwhelmed to be used. But guess what? We all can be used and God has something for all of us, we just have to ask, and be willing to do whatever it is that He asks of us. So He asked me to speak at this banquet and I said yes. Even though I didn’t feel equipped, worthy, or ready to do that! God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I kept reminding myself of that!

I would like to say I was so excited to speak in front of people. That it was a dream come true, but the truth is I was scared to death! I had no idea what I would say or how to say it! I would also love to tell you that I feel like I did a great job speaking at the banquet. I don’t know what I said and just pray that I said something that someone in that room needed to hear!

I hope that those who read this will see it as encouragement to just ask God for vision and then be ready to do what he asks you to do! Even if it is scary and outside of your comfort zone! Speaking in front of people was scary for me, but I did it and it feels great to have been able to step outside of my fear to do what God asked! God’s plans are so much bigger and better then our own!

I have more blog posts coming to share some of what I have been experiencing as a momma and hoping that it will encourage other momma’s too!

Cleft Lip, Family

Harvey gets the go!

May 9, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

Yesterday we went to our monthly checkup with our Doctor at Children’s. (We got to go to Lowell again though!) I can’t say enough about how wonderful they have been already! Feeling blessed to have them!

We were told last month that they would not be able to schedule surgery until closer to time. Probably would be June before Harvey was cleared for surgery. Well yesterday, after seeing how big he had gotten, how great he was eating, and that there had been zero issues so far, they cleared him yesterday! So now, we won’t be going back to see them until the day of surgery! That is such great news and a huge blessing!

Harvey weighed 6.13 at birth and 6.5 when we left the hospital. He weighed 9.14 yesterday! Almost 10 pounds already! I am so happy that he is nursing without problems and gaining weight so well! We feel so incredibly blessed by him! He is beating all the “norms” for a cleft baby and I know a lot of that has to do with the fact that his lip is not as severe as it could be, and that his palate was not affected, but that in itself is a HUGE blessing!

So now they will call us with a surgery date. We will go to LR for surgery, then have several follow ups for suture removal and to check his lip. We are just praying for all of this to go smoothly. It is always scary when your child is being put to sleep and having surgery. The surgery will last about 3 hours.

Now we are going to just enjoy this sweet boy and that adorable lip for a few more months. I am going to take a million pictures of him before they fix it. I love it just the way it is- but know we have to fix it. So until then, I am going to just document him like crazy! And who am I kidding, I will document him like crazy after the surgery too, I mean, its just what I do! Here is a few pictures (just from my phone) that I took before we went to the doctor. He got all dressed up with his bow tie 🙂

Cleft Lip, Encouragement, Family, My Story

Meet Harvey

April 11, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

This sweet boy has already made such an impact on our family! He decided to wait 2 hours after his big brothers birthday ended to make his appearance. At 2:20am on April 1st, Joel and I got to meet this incredibly handsome boy! Life has been a little crazy with doctor appointments, adjusting to life with 4 kids, and everything else that goes on in life, but Harvey has been an amazing baby (I just knocked on wood and realize that today will probably be the day all that changes). Kamden, Jade, & Garner LOVE him. He gets passed around a lot and loved on even more. Garner has adjusted well and is doing great as a big sister. She just adores him. I know so many have been waiting on an update so here goes! Harvey weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces when he was born. He started nursing minutes after being born and has been doing fabulous ever since. This is a HUGE blessing and something so many of you have prayed for me. We knew there was a good chance with his cleft lip that he might not be able to nurse but Praise The Lord he is doing well! He is gaining weight too, which is another blessing. As long as he continues to gain weight, I can keep nursing! Yesterday we were able to go meet with our doctor at Children’s. Children’s has a clinic in Lowell, which is a lot closer for us. Our doctor comes once a month to see patients there so we were able to do our first appointment there. We found out that they will allow us to continue to come there for our monthly visits in Lowell. Another huge blessing! The doctor said Harvey looks great! He does have a notch in his gum that looks to be a pretty good one. We won’t know what all this will entail until later on. It could effect a number of things, but right now we are not going to worry about it because they can’t fix it until later on. His surgery on his lip will be at 3 months which will fall at the first of July. We will get a surgery date soon. One thing that I was concerned about was his eating after surgery. We knew that he could not take a binkie after surgery (so we decided not to give him one) but I wasn’t sure about feedings. We found out yesterday since he is nursing, it won’t effect anything! He gets to continue to nurse after surgery! Another blessing!! If he was bottle fed, we would have to use a syringe to feed him. So, as of now, Harvey is doing great! {and he is absolutely gorgeous, if I do say so myself!!} He is eating well, his cleft looks minimal, and we just feel incredibly blessed! Thank you all for your prayers, calls, meals, and visits!

Celebrate Recovery, Encouragement, Family, My Story

Living in the wrong season?

March 14, 2014September 17, 2015 Jessica

Running on empty, burning the candle at both ends……. Ever feel like this describes you?

Early on in my adult life, a good friend told me that there were “seasons” of life. I remember feeling so relieved to hear this concept. I was happy to know that even though I felt as if things would never be different, that seasons come and go. I have often struggled with wanting to be in a different season then I am in. A lot of the time I don’t even realize that is what I am doing. I have had seasons that are short and pass quickly and some that feel as though they last longer then I would like.

Right now I am in over drive. Over committed, especially on a mental level. I feel over whelmed and exhausted almost daily. Why is this? Why can’t I just shake this? Why does this cycle seem to repeat itself over and over? I have been reflecting and trying to figure it out. I find that when I feel like I do right now, it is because I am needing to be really honest with myself (and maybe to others too) about something. I know that if I am doing the same things over and over and nothing is changing, there is a problem. Who wants to admit that? Who wants to evaluate what they are doing wrong? Not me! That is not fun, but I have found it is the only way for true growth.

I am well aware that I do “too much”. Although when I look at my days, I seem to justify my busy time by saying I just do what I have to. But do I really? This is where I decided to write down all that I do. I included every day things like grocery shopping, meal planning, and laundry. Then I listed things I had committed to such as homeschool, marriage ministry, bible study, leading life group, and then the commitments we had made for the kids, dance, soccer….. I also looked at what I had committed to in my own spiritual journey, Celebrate Recovery, devotions, books. Writing it all out really helped me to gain perspective on how much I really have on my plate.

I started wondering if I was trying to live in the wrong season? I mean there is nothing on my list of things that I don’t want to do. There isn’t anything bad on my list and I really want to do all of it, and probably sometimes even more. I love being active and busy. I truly find so much joy in giving and doing for others. But is it possible that because I am overloaded and unfocused that I am daily missing the blessing of the season I am in? I am committed to fulfilling dreams, passions, and desires that could wait for another season? Am I in a season that should be focused on kissing boo-boos, reading stories, building the character of my children, encouraging my husband, and becoming a healthier me? Have I placed my focus on too many things that the most important ones are suffering in this season?

What would happen if I boldly asked God to reveal to me what He has for me right now. In this season. Would I accept it if God said “Be a mother to your children. Raise them to know and love me. Care for them the way you always wanted to be cared for. Be a good wife to your husband and meet his needs and help him to fulfill his dreams. Continue to grow your life as a follower of me. Seek Me before you commit to things. When you want to do good, make sure it is to show the love of Christ and not for mans approval or praise.” That is truly where I feel like God is calling me…… So what is stopping me now?

Honestly, guilt, fear, and a lack of trust in the Lord. I feel guilty if the kids don’t get to do everything they want to. I feel bad if I have to say no to a very worthy cause. I am sad to disappoint someone by not being there. I am afraid that if I give up things, I will loose my sense of worth. I think that if I am not doing visible good things that no one will see me as good. I try to find my confidence in what others think of me. I feel pressure to keep up with a certain level of busy, or else I am being lazy. I am too focused on the outside world and not enough on my bible, time with God, and investing in my family.

All of that is hard to say and hard to admit. But it is truth….. Stepping out of the dark, into the light. Out of denial, and closer to Jesus……

So now, I am reevaluating priorities. Looking at my list and praying about everything on it. Does it mean backing out of some things for now? Does it mean saying no to things I would like to do? Will I miss some fun opportunities? Will someone possibly be upset with me for saying no? More then likely yes. But if I truly seek God and His will for this season (and every season to come) I trust that I will be fulfilled despite what I am giving up. God is good and His plan and timing are perfect. He doesn’t want us running on empty, exhausted, and overwhelmed. If I am feeling this way, it means that I am doing something He doesn’t have for me. We live in a world where there is always something or someone begging for your time and energy. I am going to choose to enjoy this season I am in and know that there will be a time for other things!

Cleft Lip, Family, My Story, Uncategorized

Waiting for Harvey

March 3, 2014June 21, 2014 Jessica

Today as I write this, I am 33 weeks and 5 days pregnant. My belly is growing which means this little man is too! He stays very active and is always letting me know he is there! It won’t be too much longer before we are able to meet this precious gift and we couldn’t be any more excited!

I decided to post an update because we have had so many questions. Right now I am not sure that we know much more then we knew when I first posted about Harvey but there is more that I didn’t share then. First of all, everything is looking great at my prenatal appointments. I am measuring about 2 weeks bigger, but had some extra amniotic fluid at my ultrasound so this is probably why. They are not concerned about it which is great!

I am just going to try to answer a lot of questions that I am getting frequently. Our plan is to deliver here, not at ACH. There is not any reason for us to need to go elsewhere. We will take him to Children’s when he is about a week old for his initial evaluation. As long as he is able to eat without problems, we should be able to just go home like normal after birth. So, really the answer to this question is, although there could be complications or issues associated with his cleft, we are not planning on any of them. We are well informed but plan on a normal delivery.

What will life be like when he gets here? We do not know the answer to that. We have so much information and feel very prepared for the unknown- as strange as that sounds. Until he is here everything is up in the air. We have been given lots of “this could happen” cases, so we know what could be. A few things we do know, his weight will be monitored very closely for the first 3 months, with weight checks weekly. We will be working with the nutritionist at ACH during this time to adjust his feedings/calories to make sure he is on track for surgery. His first surgery will be at 3 months.

There may or may not be more surgeries, it is all dependent on the extent of his cleft. The first year of life is hectic, they were very honest about that. There will be many trips to ACH, lots of appointments, I am going to guess lots of tears! We know that this is a journey and one that won’t always be easy but we have the biggest peace about it. We know God is bigger then this and we are just thankful to have so many amazing doctors caring for us! We are thankful that Harvey is otherwise healthy and that my pregnancy has been healthy as well.

Most of you know I am a photographer but I tend to be terrible about planning pictures that include me. I realized I really wanted a few good pictures of me pregnant with Harvey but I hadn’t scheduled any AND I am almost 34 weeks. So this morning, Mr. Meinardi decided to humor me and attempt a few pictures. I will say, a few turned out super cute. Being the perfectionist (in recovery) that I am, I am trying hard to remember that he is not a photographer! He really did do a good job. Thank you honey!