Do you ever wake up and try to beat your toddler to the coffee pot? You know what I mean? You need to get a cup a coffee in before you hear a whiney “mommy I need a drink” or before there is any chance of a melt down. I know that is a reality in this house. We have 4 kids ranging from 2 months old to 11 and all 4 of them are at home with me all day. There is a toddler in that mix and anyone who has ever had a toddler knows that they can be tricky at times.
Right now at this point in my life I have found that there are days that are just hard. There are long nights that leave me exhausted. There are days with more meltdowns than smiles. Some days I feel like I get nothing done (which is hard for me because I am a doer). At times I wonder if I will ever have any time for anything! Days come where the 2 year old is refusing to nap and wants me to lay with her. I planned to do things while she napped. The baby is asleep and I need her to sleep too! This is a place to easily get frustrated.
I know there have been so many times where I have told my husband “I am just so tired. I don’t know if I can do this again tomorrow!” He has jokingly said, “don’t worry, it will get better in a few years” Oh my word, so much for encouragement! We had our first two kids 2 years apart just like the last two. We survived that and I know we will survive this too. The fact is, I know that this time passes by so fast! I know that I am going to miss these days. I missed them as soon as they were over with our first two.
Acceptance. That is where I have gotten to. I have accepted that I may not get anything on my to-do list done. I am ok with that. I have decided to embrace each moment of the day. When Garner has a meltdown, I remind myself that she is strong willed, full of life and that she makes me laugh more then she makes me cry. I remind myself of the pure joy that flows from her tiny two year old body. When the baby is fussy and isn’t wanting to sleep, I choose to see the blessing it is to have him in my arms. It is so easy to be consumed by the craziness of life and to miss the blessings.
I don’t want to allow anything to stop me from seeing all the good things in my life. There is always good no matter what is going on. We get to choose joy. I have so much to be thankful for in my life. My life is not perfect. There are lots of moments that are stressful and seem impossible. Things don’t always go the way I plan. There are disappointments. But there is no life I would rather have. Choosing to let the joy overshadow the chaos has been one of the most amazing feelings! I lean on prayer a lot. I give the things I can’t control to God and ask Him for strength and wisdom daily, especially in parenting these 4 amazing kids.
One thing that I have used my one on one time with the kids for is praying for them individually. I have found myself laying in bed with Garner or rocking Harvey a lot lately. I know when it is 10:30pm and I have been trying to get them to sleep for 2 hours and have been hearing cries for 2 hours, my emotions are high and I know I am vulnerable to have a meltdown myself. So, I have just started praying through all of it. I start praying for their future, their friends, for who they will become, for wisdom in parenting them and guiding them to be the person God created them to be, and even for their future spouse. Praying sends all my anxiety away, eases my spirit and gives me peace all while reminding me of the blessing it is be a mommy.
So, kiss your life! Love where you are today. Rocking babies, kissing boo-boos, waking up for 2am feedings, or maybe you are struggling with a teenager. Wherever your life is now, focus on loving it, or else you might miss the happiness that is right in front of you.