A busy mom with several children is sitting at home struggling. She is lonely and would love more than anything to connect to others who share common interest and who are in the same season of life. Reality is, she would love to connect with anyone. She feels a little forgotten. She starts evaluating herself and looking for reasons why it seems like no one reaches out to her. She finds herself unsure why, but realizes she is feeling self conscious wishing she could figure it out.
In a house across town, another busy mom has been invited to a luncheon but has no one to go with. She wants more than anything to put on makeup, fix her hair, wear that new dress, and have a kid free lunch with friends. She scans the contacts in her phone. She concludes that most everyone she knows is far too busy to go. This friend probably can’t get a babysitter. This one seems to have so many friends and always busy, I doubt she has time for me. One by one she answers for them, without asking. Before she knows it, her excitement about the luncheon has turned into sadness and she decides she won’t go because she doesn’t want to go alone.
Have you ever been either women? In this season of Motherhood I can find myself being both women at times. I have been the lonely mom, wishing someone would invite, call, or text me. I have longed for meaningful relationships and wondered why I don’t have them. I have also been the woman who didn’t even ask because I thought they were too busy or I feared feeling rejected if they said no.
Through talking to other women, trying to figure out a solution to loneliness in Motherhood, I have heard over and over again that a lot of moms don’t invite out of fear OR they don’t invite because they assume someone is busy. I have also heard moms saying they just feel overwhelmed by all that they have going on and truly feel too busy to reach out.
If you are the overwhelmed mom, but long for some girl pal time, here is a question for you- What would it look like to determine a set amount of time for this? Do you feel that even with your full plate, carving out some time to hang with other moms might actually help you be less overwhelmed? I know that taking time out of my normal crazy to drink coffee and chat with other moms it helps me feel human again!
If you are like me and often assume other moms are too busy OR fear rejection, lets ask anyway! You never know when another mom may need the invite, just as bad as you want them to say yes! And lets remember that a no isn’t personal.
Just invite. Reach out. Make new friends. Love on old ones. Have coffee, lunch, dinner. Go play at the park. Find ways to connect and don’t let things stop you. Relationships are far too important to allow fear or busyness get in the way!
I do not have a full proof solution for the lonely mom, but I do know if we don’t ever take a chance and just invite, we will miss out on so many opportunities!
Happy Monday Friends! I hope it is fabulous!